10.28.07 : 12:18 am and fuck how much i hate you and what you stand for. infedelity, lies, neediness, selfishness, cruelty in it's passing phase and a look that cuts so deep it's almost vague in everyone i see these days. i didn't, couldn't, go tonight to the bar because i was told you'd be there and even if my car was right outside of that place, i didn't go in. i drove away and vowed verbally to myself that i didn't want another relationship now because i don't ever want to be in this situation again. loved, cheated on, lied to, dumped, left alone, picked back up again, i dump you by refusing to communicate in any such form. fuck you and your posse who have invaded my friendships and started making me choose between people. as in, i don't know if i like this one boy anymore because he still agrees to hang out with you. fuck all being friends. choose sides because it means at least you have loyalty to one thing or one belief that someone can encompass. i am so tired of this avoidance, but so not yet ready to see your perfect face again and to (dreadfully) say a thing to it. no, if i can help it, that won't happen for a while. << >>