07.04.06 : 10:34 pm i stopped feeling his gaze. about three weeks ago, it just ended. part three of moving on, i guess. (one and two were not seeing or speaking to him). except for today; he came to the lake (it's his lake anyway but i was there with his brother and my two best friends) with the girl he kind of left me for. well, that whole thing is fuzzy but i do know that it was a douchebag thing to do. everyone agreed, and i tried to maintain the blank feeling i told myself i would have when he was mentioned or came around. today was the first time we have seen eachother since may 23. i tried to stay as far away as possible, the closest i got was 8 feet. i would email him, i really would. if i felt it was worth it. what really helps me is writing in here. j is not someone i would trust again within the next few years at least. he has a ton of growing up to do, but he has said that others have a lot of growing up to do; too bad he is so blind to his own faults. i could help with that, but i don't want to hear him point mine out right now. i really can't handle it. the front of my thighs are burning up. last week it was my shoulders, now this. i'm going to go shower and watch another romance movie. surprisingly enough, cheesy romantic comedies are not making me want to gouge my eyes out or burn something up. instead, i sit there smiling a stupid smile and thanking the stars that i'm single. << >>